Steadfast Love and Faithfulness
My fertile sisters in Christ sometimes have a hard time understanding the particular challenges of my journey toward having a family. We can try to imagine ourselves in someone else's shoes and we might think that we would view things differently or take different actions, but it's really hard to know unless you have walked in their shoes.
From speaking with others who share my same boat, I know there can be a particular struggle when it comes to transitioning from fertility treatments to the path of adoption. For someone who has not been given a conclusive "no" from the Lord, there is an enormous amount of wrestling to try to determine how the Lord is leading in the situation. There are so many scriptures that speak to the value of waiting on the Lord and his timing. Added to that, there are numerous miraculous conception stories both in the Bible and testimonies from Christian friends who have walked this path. There are also godly friends who were never able to conceive and who have beautiful, inspiring adoption stories. God has also brought some older women into my life who were never able to conceive and never adopted, but they have been able to use their spiritual gifts in amazing ways to build up the body and nurture many spiritual children.
My husband and I started the process of adoption last fall and made an announcement about it on social media at the beginning of the year, but at a certain point we became uncertain that this was how the Lord was leading us right now. So we are back in a place of waiting on the Lord. During this time, the Lord has opened up some opportunities for me to write on some topics I am passionate about. I had a couple of articles published last week on the topics of the inspiration and reliability of the Bible and discernment. Those writing opportunities felt like gifts from the Lord and I saw how he has used my infertility struggle to open some doors for me to serve him in new ways.
As I was spending some time last week praying and seeking the Lord about his plans for growing our family, I became aware that I was struggling with a subtle lie that adoption would somehow feel like second best to me. As I was praying about this and reading scripture, I ran across this treasure in the Psalms that spoke directly as a correction to my wayward thoughts:
"Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me.... All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies" (Psalm 25:4, 10, ESV).
I spent some time meditating on that word all and letting the Lord renew my mind with his truth regarding my situation. Whatever turns out to be his plan will be best because his plan arises out of his steadfast love and faithfulness for me.
Maybe you are struggling today with a certain path God has you on. I found that praying this prayer renewed my mind and taught my heart to long for his paths which are always best, even if it doesn't seem like it to our worldly ways of thinking and perceiving things.
In a conversation with my mom on this topic yesterday, she gave a helpful analogy. She said this situation can be compared to planning a trip to somewhere, like Venezuela, but instead you are re-routed to Kenya. Both will be amazing adventures with joys and challenges, but the new journey and destination will be different than you had originally anticipated. But for those who know and follow the Lord, both paths will be full of his steadfast love and faithfulness. 💜